News: Platinum Racquetball - Week 2

Date Published	Author
2/10/2026 12:00:00 AM	Ron Marsh

Racquetballers,

This season is going to be a test of strength, mental fortitude, and wits. We hope you are all excited for the adventure we are all well a part of. Platinum League is seriously a riot, with only two people having puked from their efforts in the court so far. Welcome to paradise. 

Kirk v Steve
To start off the evening was a game between two veterans in our fair court. Kirk the Grey, and Steve the White. Their sorcery is found not in a wooden staff, but in the pathways of travel their racquetballs propel themselves within. The power is derived from deep within the earth, and is extracted not through will, but the brutal truth. Kirk stepped into the court fresh off a string of whimsical jokes involving our gym scanner, and was brandishing a racket feather-light and true. Steve brought his racquet, carved out of the hind quarter of unicorn (the horse still lives) and 
Was ready for whatever magic Kirk had to bring into the court. After some friendly lob shots, they were off. Kirk had an accuracy and determination for his game, and zinged and zanged across the court, collecting points into his magical satchel. Steve found himself deep in the clutches of the front of the court. Kirk had imbued the front wall with a clingy chorus of invisible hands that lured his opponent into its white opacity. By the end of the first round, Kirk captured the win at 15-4. After a short break, the two got back into the court, and Steve felt a bit warmer. His sense of gameplay was sharpened and sure, and Kirk knew that he would had the formidable task of holding back Steve’s magical embellishments. Steve the White, some call him the Great White Z-Serve Shark, had more success in the second game. Kirk’s aim was tried and true, however, and he took the win at a more competitive spread of 15-7. This performance puts Kirk at third place with an average point differential of 3.3. 

Wes v Ron

To finish the evening was a highly anticipated game between SPRD staff member Ron Marsh and his friendly foe, Wes Shafer. These two have had competitive games year after year and knew this would be important in establishing themselves in the Platinum League. After a brief warm-up, the two sent out some lob shots which determined that Wes would get the first serve. His serve is absolutely diabolical, but Ron was prepared for this (most of the time). The points started to stack up on the board, with the game demanding much from these two opponents as rallies lasted into the night. Wes walked out of the court a victor in the first game, winning 15-12. Ron took advantage of his tiring opponent in the second game, serving explosive fastballs off the front wall that simply did not look fun to chase after. Ron generated a large lead that nearly resulted in a final score that Wes might even say was “pepper worthy”. It’s a long story. You work at a restaurant and spices start to make a lot of sense in other arenas. Wes wasn’t going to let Ron savor in the wide point differential, and slapped some points onto the board, making the game 15-7 with Ron the victor. We were strapping in for the tie-breaking round. Ron commented “I am envisioning the opening scene of The Terminator in there, with laser guns and monsters charging forward. Wes, you clearly are the robot in this situation.” Wes replied, “Good, I like being the bad guy.” That’s a funny thing for such a great fella to say! Anyways, Wes got back into the court Terminator-style, and charged forward to his destiny. Ron started to fall behind with a 2-6 spread, and Wes took advantage. Wes took a time-out before sounding the death bell for Ron. The scoreboard read 10-6, and Ron knew he had to fight till the game was over. He managed to stack a couple of points on the board before Wes accepted his victory, with the game ending at 11-8. Wes fled the scene of his crime and started vomiting in the trash can outside the court. It was one of the proudest movements of fluid in his life. 

That’s all we have for this week folks! SPRD staff would like to thank everyone in the league for their timely communications. As a friendly reminder, let’s keep making an effort to make up games before their scheduled date. This helps run the leagues smoothly and effectively. 

Standings Below: 

Standings Week 2
Place	Player	Wins-Losses	GW	Point Differential APG
1	Courtney Bringhurst	2-0	4-0	9.5
2	Russ White	2-0	4-0	6.8
3	Kirk Desermia	1-1	2-2	3.3
4	Danny Meuninck	1-1	2-2	-2
5	Clay Lambert	1-1	2-3	-2.4
6	Wes Shafer	1-1	2-3	-5.6
7	Ron Marsh	0-2	1-4	-2.2
8	Steve Fink	0-2	0-4	-5